Juice Fast- Day 1

Today is my first day of this juicing fast. For breakfast I had carrot, strawberry and orange juice. It was pretty good. For lunch I'll be having the mean green juice, which well tastes a lil gross. But we will see how it goes.


Ok well I had the green juice and well yeah it was still gross. It makes me nauseous. I've had a headache just about all day, and I've been super tires. I cheated a lil. I had a bite or 2 of some pasta. I shouldn't of done that. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

Missing my Angel

Lately I have really been missing my Mema. The other day I was listening to my voice mail, and a saved message I had from here was still in there. It felt so nice to hear her voice. Too hear her say "I love you mija" But after that I was more sad then I was before. It been 5 months since she has been gone. But it still feels like it was just yesterday. Here's one of my favorite poems that I read at her funeral. I know she liked it, Because she loves everything that has to do with angels. I love you Mema <3


May you always have an Angel by your side. 
Watching out for you in all the things you do. 
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days. 
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to come true. 
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun. 
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide. 
May you always have love and comfort and courage. 
May you always have an Angel by your side. 
Someone there to catch you if you fall, 
Encouraging your dreams, 
Inspiring your happiness, 
Holding your hand and helping you through it all. 
In all of our days, our lives are always changing. 
Tears come along as well as smiles. 
Along the roads you travel, 
May the miles be a thousand times more lovely than lonely. 
May they give you gifts that never, ever end. 
Someone wonderful to love 
and a dear friend in whom you can confide. 
May you have rainbows after every storm. 
May you have hopes to keep you safe and warm. 
And may you always have an Angel by your side. 

Angels, Spirits, and Sylvia Browne

I recently read a book called "Book of Angels" by Sylvia Browne. It was my Mema's book. My Papa had told me I could take anything of my Mema's that I wanted, and I automatically went to her books. My Mema loved angels, and she had a good amount of books about angels. So of course I took them all. Growing up, I always believed in angels, I believed that I had a guardian angel always looking after me. With that said, let me get to my point about what this post is about.
So I started reading this book one night on the weekend. I got through the first chapter and was really just amazed by the book. It really caught my interest and I wanted to keep reading. I grabbed my cell phone to text my best friend Brian, who was also very close to my Mema. I went to my inbox and clicked Brian's name to open the message, then to my surprise a picture of the collage that I made of my Mema for her funeral came up. My first thought was why is this coming up? I had sent it back in January and we were in the end of February. I text Brian telling him what happened and how weird it was. I'm reading her book about something she loved and believed in and then her picture pops up. A couple weeks later I told my cousin Debbie, and she told me it was my Mema sending me a sign, letting me know that she is here with me. I wasn't freaked out when Debbie told me, I actually started to tear up, because that is what I truly believed too.
I ended up finishing the book of Angles in just 1 day, it was so good that I couldn't put it down. It also got me very interested in reading more of Sylvia Browne's books. I recently bought "Past Lives, Future Healings" by Sylvia Browne. Before starting the book I told myself that I would keep an open mind. The book is about regressing to past lives to find healing for your present life. While I was reading tonight, there was one chapter that really made me think. Sylvia is doing a regression on someone with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The man (Bo) says “Let’s say reincarnation and karma and all that other stuff are real. Does this disease mean I did something horrible in a past life, and now I'm getting paid back for it?" Sylvia tells him "But the short version is, not a chance. Before every life we live on earth, we write a chart for that life, which includes all the obstacles we're going to face in order to accomplish the goals we've set for ourselves." So then he says "Are you saying I chose to get MS?" Then Sylvia says "That's exactly what I'm saying, and hard as this is to believe right now, the day will come when you'll even understand why you made that choice. In the meantime, though, remember this- only the bravest, most extraordinary spirits have the courage to set themselves up for serious challenges likes yours"
So if this is the case, then I choose to have Lupus!? I guess so, Now if I can only find out why I choose to have it.  One thing for sure is, Sylvia really has my interest now.
I’ll probably will be blogging more about the books I read. So if you’re into it, stay tuned! If not, then uh Sorry?

My Mema, my Angel

I decided to share with everyone my eulogy that I wrote for my Mema's funeral. My Mema is very special to me. She was more than a grandmother, she was a friend.

"My Mema was the type of person that can go somewhere and make friends instantly. She was sweet, caring, feisty, beautiful, and an all around amazing woman. I have so many good memories with my mema. I remember when I was little, she would always make clothes for me. She loved her sewing; She even taught me how to sew. I would make clothes for my dolls and make myself little purses, but they never came out like the things she made me. Mema also loved shopping. Papa would bring her down to the house and the first thing she would say is “Lets go to the store”. So we would go shopping and be gone for hours. Even when she wasn’t shopping with me, she would call me and say that she found something and would ask me what I thought and if she should buy it. She did that a lot with books. She would call and ask me if I read it or heard of that particular book, then she would say ok, I’m going to buy it, when I’m done reading it I’ll give it to you. I’m a book worm just like she is. Me and Mema would always call each other to see how each other were feeling. We would get to talking and tell each other about our day and what’s going on in life. She would always ask me if I was dating anyone and always asked why not. Then she would always say “mija, you’re going to find a great guy, I just know it”. Mema was always a great listener and gave advice whenever you needed it. Mema loved angels, she even named one of her rooms in her house “The angel room”. Now Mema is up in Heaven along with the Angels she loved so much watching down on all of us."

Songs that speak to me....

So I think Taylor Swift's new album is amazing. I love all the songs on it, and some of them really speak to me. I'm the type of person that can listen to a song and really hear the words. Most of my favorite songs are because of the lyrics, not the beat. Here are a few songs off her new album that have some meaning for me.

"Last Kiss lyrics"

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go
Away?

Away...

I do recall now
The smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms

And now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember
The swing in your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I'm not much for dancing
But for you I did

Because I love your handshake
Meetin' my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in the weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So
I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last...

"Back To December"

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.

'cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night",
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night".
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right...

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night"
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I'd go back to December all the time.
All the time